Parts 1 and 2 of this article discussed the art of influencing people and shared communication best practices. Part 3 will explore words and phrases that can make a positive impact and encourage others as well as those that may make a negative impact or be perceived as weak.

The Power of Positive Phrases
Let’s review some examples of effective phrases to incorporate into your conversations with others and positively influence employees.

“I liked the way you ...”
“I liked the way you explained our project costing process to that customer.”
“I liked the way you reorganized the payroll system.”

“What can I do to help?”
“It looks as if you still have a lot of invoices to process before you leave today. What can I do to help?”
“What can I do to help you implement this program?”

“Would you be good enough to ...?" or “Would you be so kind ... ?”
“Would you be good enough to give me a hand with these cost projections?”
“Would you be so kind as to help Corey reconcile the month-end reports?”
“Would you be so kind to give this a try and see how it works?”

“That’s a good idea/point/observation.”
“That’s a good point. We can depend on that subcontractor.”

“Thank you!”
Simply stated, “thank you” is the most important phrase in your business and personal life; be sure to say it often.

Bad Speaking Habits
Just as there are phrases that will help you in your efforts to influence people, there are also phrases that can make these efforts more difficult. The phrases that follow can make you sound weak or indecisive, or can set the wrong tone for leadership.

“To tell you the truth...”/“To be honest…”
Using of either of these two phrases can make you sound weak and could negatively impact your leadership ability. Eliminate them from your vocabulary.

“To tell you the truth, we are considered the best in the city.”
“To tell you the truth, the company has invested thousands into this program.”
“To be honest, we almost always come in under budget.”
“To be honest, our equipment costing process is more accurate than other companies.”

“You have to ...”/“You'd better ...”/“You must ...”
You may have the authority to tell people what to do, but the language you choose can make a difference as to whether or not people will willingly follow your instructions. They may do what you say, but they may not produce quality work or worse, you may lose their respect as a result of your tone. Refrain from using phrases that dictate to people what they must do:

“You'd better get that delivery to the worksite by the end of the day.”
“You have to get adjusted to this new construction software.”

“We think…”/“We believe” vs. “We know…”
Avoid phrases that weaken your position. Notice the subtle differences in using “we think” and “we believe” vs. “we know.” 

• Poor: “We think you will be completely satisfied by the results of our internal audit.”
• Better: “We know you'll be completely satisfied by the results of our internal audit.”
• Poor: “We believe that changing that supplier will help us reduce our overall costs.”
• Better: “We know changing that supplier will help us reduce our overall costs.”

Conclusion
The words you use can make or break your ability to influence people. You may have the greatest ideas, the most logical proposals, or the best products and services, but if you're unable to choose the right words to express your thoughts, it won't make much difference.

Copyright © 2016 by the Construction Financial Management Association (CFMA). All rights reserved. This article first appeared in June 2016 Bottom Lines newsletter.